Something Weird Is Going On With The Royal Marines (Part 2)

Hoist anchor and set a course for Dramatopia, mateys, because it appears that the Captain General saga is far from over.

I love mess

In Part 1 of what is shaping up to be an ongoing series, I put forth a theory that some major behind-the-scene dramatics are going on with respect to the leadership of the Royal Marines. Recent events have only further convinced me that, in the immortal words of esteemed American chanteur Yung Joc, IT'S GOING DOWN.

Today's Daily Mail published a weirdly fervent article about the appointment of the Queen's new equerry, a Royal Marine by the name of Major Tom White. Of course this event is newsworthy in it's own right, as this Marine will serve as the Queen's "eyes and ears." However, the tone of the announcement is, in a word... weird. Major White is no doubt deserving of the lavish praise heaped upon him, but such effusiveness a little unusual coming from a military source.

Odder still are the repeated references to Harry stepping down as Captain General, since the equerry post has nothing to do with Harry and is not even necessarily held by a Royal Marine (in fact, Major White will be the first). So why does this article repeatedly draw a link between Harry's departure and Major White's appointment? Oddest of all, the article contains this rather vivid characterization of the Marines' reaction to Harry's exit:

[Harry] walking away was a huge disappointment. The Royal Marines have felt they’ve been handed from pillar to post but this is a proud moment.

Between all this dramatic verbiage and the repeatedly drawn link between Harry's scarper and Maj White's promotion... well friends, my Spidey Senses are a-tinglin'.

The drama is out there... I feel it...

There's one more odd thing about this story, but this time we have to look to the negative space. Recall from Part 1 that around the time of the Farewell Tour, Anne was tipped to take over as Captain General. However this Daily Express article made clear that at 70 and with 15 extant appointments, she wasn't willing to take on a new role. Recall also that William was tipped in her stead, and military brass were clearly mounting a pressure campaign through the press to get him to take on the role.

Well guess who's not mentioned in the new Daily Mail article? (Hint: William.) And guess who is? (Hint: Anne.)

I conclude from this that William has refused to take on the Captain General post. Perhaps he doesn't want to fuel a brothers-at-war narrative in the press; perhaps he is concerned for his personal relationship with Harry; perhaps he is simply lazy, if you buy the Duke of Dolittle narrative. But who knows, really? No matter what William's motive, this would mean a double-snub for the Royal Marines by the BRF.

Handed from pillar to post

Therefore, reading between the lines, I think this equerry appointment is an effort to placate the Marines and smooth over ruffled feathers. That would explain all the fuss and botheration over a routine staff handover. "Sorry my feckless grandchildren can't be bothered to perform the basic duties of their positions. Here, have an equerry position instead!" And wouldn't that just be a classic QEII conflict resolution method?

In the final accounting I think this saga bodes poorly for the future of the monarchy. Captain General of the Royal Marines is an extremely important position, and a prestigious one at that. If William isn't motivated to do the high-profile glamorous jobs, he's unlikely to take on the unglamorous day-to-day scutwork of being Sovereign.

Thank God (for now, at least), for Princess Anne!

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What Happened at the Mountbatten Festival of Music? The Curious Case of the Stolen Ovation (Part 1)

 

Mountbatten Festival of Music 2020

Alright folks, strap in, strap up, batten the hatches, secure the storm shutters, and affix the tinfoil hats firmly to your heads because I'm about to make some highly irregular claims.

But bear with me anyway.

Namely, I think Harry has already been sacked from his Captain General of the Royal Marines post. I think it happened at the Mountbatten Festival of Music (MFM) 2020. And I think they sacked him in a very public albeit coded way. It happened right under our very noses and the great majority of us didn't have a clue.

I started looking into the goings on at the MFM because of the Believing Bruce body language video embedded below. Commenters on his channel were claiming that the standing ovation Harry and Meghan received was actually meant for the orchestra, which had just finished the overture when they entered. This fit into some rumors I was investigating at the time that the gruesome twosome might be surreptitiously recording footage of royal events to use in a Netflix documentary. Stealing performers' applause in order to get a "standing ovation" shot for their doc? Very on-brand for these entitled twerps.

A commenter pointed out the reaction of the short dude on Harry's right/viewer's left, which seemed to confirm that something was indeed very off with the whole evening. So I tracked down the original video (Standing Ovation for Prince Harry and Meghan as they Complete Last Few Engagements) and started watching reactions one by one. Yep. Somethin' ain't clean in the milk and every last person on that balcony knew it.

This guy reminds me of Popeye

Poor Popeye looks devastated

Harry's last true friend?

Oozing that inimitable English quality of polite savagery

Pashmina Lady can't believe her eyes

But she likes what she's seeing

I solemnly swear that I am up to no good

Astounded

Ole dude's eyebrows are just about flying off his forehead

i am so uncomfortable

Yiiiiiiiiikes

Good sirs I remain skeptical

However, I was given pause by the fact that this video is clearly titled Standing Ovation for the Harkles and appears on The Royal Family Channel, which is a verified channel and not a stan account. A quick glance at their Wikipedia page reveals that they are owned by ITV, which is a huge establishment player in British media. Surely a bunch of establishment insiders knew the real scoop; why would they facilitate the gruesome twosome's outrageous and false self-promotion?

The clincher for me was none other than Meghan herself. Watch the video from 0:55 to 1:50 and focus exclusively on Meghan's reaction. She is first surprised, then delighted by the audience's applause. Meghan is absolutely pleased as punch. This is not the sly narc smirk of a rude schemer thieving other people's accolades; this is the ecstatic smile of a woman finally being lauded in the manner to which she always felt entitled.

A simpering fool and her dignity are soon parted

And yet... All the pressed-lip, tight-smiled, bulgy-eyed expressions on the balcony tell a very different story. So what the heck is really going on? Are the Harkles being standing-ovated or no? Since the video of the full concert was uploaded to Youtube, might we find some answers there?

As it turns out, the answer to that last question is a resounding YES.

The video of the concert has two audience shots during the standing O, one at 3:34 and the second at 3:38. In the second shot the orchestra is clearly visible behind the audience. The audience have their backs turned to the orchestra, and are applauding towards the back of Royal Albert Hall where Harry and Meghan are seated. That is probative. The standing ovation was not for the orchestra, it was very intentionally for Hazza and LaMarkle.

The audience, clapping, with their backs to the orchestra. Not the orchestra's ovation.

But equally obviously, this is not an authentic, heartfelt, laudatory applause. And it's not just the tense expressions on the balcony that lead me to believe that. If anything, the expressions in those audience shots are even more extraordinary. There are a lot of mirthless smiles in that crowd, beginning on the lips but failing to reach the eyes. And most curiously of all, some of those audience smiles appear to be openly mocking.

Mirthless smile

Open mockery

Contempt

Did you get the shot, babe?

What a couple of knobheads

For posterity

Amused

Tight-lipped

Skepticism over the shoulder

Mr. Moustache is skeptical too

Not here for the nonsense

What. Is. Going. On?

With the aid of some rogue YouTube commenters, we figure some things out in Part 2! Stay tuned!

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Something Weird Is Going On With the Royal Marines (Part 1)

I'm convinced there is some wild f&cksh!t going down vis-a-vis the Royal Marines and the Captain General position, although I'm not exactly sure what. Here l gather my speculations.

I think the RF want to wait until the one-year review to name a new Captain General, but the RM are sick of the nonsense and have embarked on a public pressure campaign to get the ball rolling. These articles are 2 keystones of that campaign:

Prince Harry devastated as brother William poised to take much-loved marines role

Top general accuses Prince Harry of turning his back on the Royal Marines after stepping down from ceremonial role as part of Megxit deal

After the chaos and scandal of the Harry years, I think they wanted good ole professional, reliable Anne but she declined - per DE, she’s 70 with 15 existing military appointments. Reasonable.

Reasonable.

I think they are currently trying to give the post to William and he doesn’t want it. Taking over Harry’s old post pumps nitrous into the brothers-at-war narrative, and on a personal level Harry will certainly never forgive him. However the RM are clearly pressuring William in that DE article - they talk about needing royal representation for big upcoming events, they point out a key procedural meeting that needs to take place, then follow up with how the RF’s interests will be damaged by losing a direct connection to the RM.

Harry is off the table and out of the running. He will not be restored to his position. In fact, my personal tinfoil is that he has already been formally stripped of the role! It happened at the Mountbatten Festival of Music during the “farewell tour” and was done very publicly but in a coded way. Effectively, it happened right under our noses and we didn’t suspect a thing! It's an elaborate theory whose exposition will require several separate posts. But wow, if I’m right, the RF and RM really turned the public humiliation dial up to 11 for the gruesome twosome.

Hip Hip... Hooray! Hip Hip... Hooray! Hip Hip... Hooray!

Ultimately, there’s really no one but William who’s both available and suitable for the position (Andrew we know you’ve got time on your hands these days but don’t even think about it!). Hence the DM article with the retired muckety-mucks portraying Harry as feckless and absent; they are bringing out the big guns to blast the way clear for William to take up the role.

(The saga takes a surprising turn in Part 2! Join me there!)

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