Did Meghan Use a Surrogate? (Part 1)

In a word: unlikely. I say this not to bash the surrogacy theorists, because there was an abundance of suspicious activity related to Meghan's pregnancy, but because I believe most of the weird goings-on have a relatively non-sinister explanation. So how did the surrogacy rumors get started in the first place? Let's review the evidence.

A non-sinister explanation for this? Why yes, actually!

Let us begin by pointing out that surrogacy rumors are an ancient and unavoidable aspect of hereditary monarchy. After all, the central defining aspect of hereditary monarchy is, well, heredity. Paternity and maternity. The right genes, acquired under the right circumstances. The stakes are extremely high, since the winner takes all the marbles, and as a consequence rumors about legitimacy, paternity, and even maternity are almost inevitably bound to occur.

Crenellated castle marbles, glimmering jeweled marbles, scepter and orbed marbles, head of state marbles, offshore account marbles... Lots and lots of marbles

Indeed, the recent history of the BRF is thickly littered with rumors of this nature. Surrogacy rumors about Meghan. Paternity rumors about Archie. Surrogacy rumors about Kate. Maternity rumors about George. Paternity rumors, almost certainly false, about Harry. Paternity rumors, almost certainly true, about Andrew. More paternity rumors about Edward. Paternity rumors about Zara Tindall. Rumors that the Queen and Princess Margaret were conceived via turkey baster. And even maternity rumors about the Queen Mother herself, claiming she was the offspring of a kitchen maid (hence "Cookie," Edward's mocking nickname for her).

And those are just the modern-day royals. A rumor about a baby in a warming pan was once weaponized to force the Stuarts off the throne. Such is the power of heredity in a monarchical system: it can literally destroy dynasties. The British royals are well aware of this, and that's why there are so many "intrusive" requirements surrounding royal pregnancies and births. It's not a straightforward question of outmoded misogyny, but also a body of practices with real implications for the public's willingness to accept the legitimacy of an heir.

Some dynasties fall by the sword, some by the pen... and some by the mighty warming pan!

A corollary to the foregoing is that I do not believe the claim that Meghan surrogacy rumors emerged because of racism. Which is not to say that Meghan never faced any racism - she absolutely did (Straight Outta Compton, exotic DNA, Archie monkey tweet) - but racism has never at any point been the main driver of the public reaction to Meghan. I know that statement will anger a lot of folks, particularly those who only follow Meghan through the American media, but it's the God's honest truth. Ironically, the idea that racism is the main driver of this story is itself a celebrity PR narrative, planted and aggressively cultivated by Sunshine Sachs. The primary driver of Meghan's story is and always has been her own behavior.

The surrogacy controversy is no exception to the rule. Meghan gave this narrative wings in just about every way imaginable:

• She created confusion over the timeline by announcing waaaaaay earlier than three months, likely because she wanted to steal the spotlight at Eugenie's wedding. (Details in Part 2)
• Critically, there was a lot of weirdness involving the physical baby bump: it constantly changed in size, occasionally appeared unnatural in shape, once seemed to re-inflate with a popping sound, and once seemed to slip clean off her body. (Details in Part 2)
• She and Harry created a lot of confusion about the birth, including explicitly lying to the press about the timeline (leaving Buckingham palace with egg on its face).
• She and Harry "chose" not to give private citizen Archie a title, but their explanation doesn't make sense on a number of levels.
• She and Harry created more deliberate confusion surrounding Archie's Christening.

The internet, reacting

Fear not good reader, we will discuss these claims and the supporting evidence at length. Continue on to Part 2, and check back for future posts!